So often I hear (and have felt myself) from smart, driven, highly capable women that they aren’t sure if they are ready to make a change or step into a new level of support or create the piece of art / write the story / perform on stage the way that they know they want to.
There are a lot of questions in doing something new or differently.
What will happen?
How will I make space for it?
What if it doesn’t turn out the way I want?
What if I fail?
What if I’m rejected or judged or both?
When looking over all of the unknowns of a new venture, it can seem daunting to actually take the leap. There are so many things you can’t possibly know before you get started. If any of those scenarios you play out in your head, however likely or unlikely, pose a threat to your comfort levels or potential survival, your ego is going to do whatever it can to shut it down- invite fear and doubt to come hang out, find distractions and disasters for you to attend to, try and make you feel tired or sick, for example- and you may find yourself at the seemingly logical conclusion that maybe you just aren’t ready right now.
I see this a lot with women who begin the process of working with me. They know they want to experience things like feeling really comfortable in their bodies and waking up every morning knowing exactly what to do to feel alive, inspired, and energized every day. They want to feel like they are finally worthy, not because of something they’ve achieved, but because of who they are. They want to feel like and show up as unapologetically who they are in all areas of their lives.
There’s a knowing that there is something greater and deeper available to them. Something that maybe can’t be found in a self-development book or a singular yoga retreat (though those are great tools). There’s a willingness to believe (even if they don’t believe it yet) that, just maybe, they have everything they need to feel and experience all of those things already within them.
It might not show up day to day sounding like that. It may sound more like, “I just want to feel better” or “I want to know how to speak up for myself” or “I want to trust my instincts and emotions” or “I’m ready to tap into my creative energy and potential like never before” or “I want to feel connected to my body”.
And even though at times you may feel ready, it’s very possible it always feels just a little bit beyond where you are, or outside of yourself somewhere (if you could just get your schedule under control, amirite?). (Hint: it’s not about your schedule, or control, or willpower.)
Or you may have felt ready for ages and wonder why the hell you seem to be the only person who can’t get it together and jump on this self-love / life purpose / excited about everything train for real.
Well, readiness is a fascinating subject.
A lot of times when someone says, “I’m ready,” they might not actually be ready. Or they may have misconstrued the definition of ready.
Because being ready for something doesn’t mean you’ve plotted out all possible contingency plans, or know exactly what’s coming next, or are dead set on powering through no matter what comes up. It doesn’t mean that you’re never going to experience resistance, fear, doubt, anxiety, avoidance, or uncertainty ever again. Those things tend to show up most often when we actually are in fact, ready.
And a lot of times, we come to the conclusion that we may not be ready for something yet because we have fear around not knowing what’s going to happen when we say yes. (And sometimes we say yes and then get frustrated when things don’t immediately change… more on that in a minute.)
At the beginning of Magdalene Rising by Elizabeth Cunningham, there is a quote about readiness that has stuck with me deeply. A way of looking at being ready that I hadn’t fully been able to give voice to before reading it. It says:
“Readiness isn’t a matter of knowing what’s going to happen. It’s a matter of daring to find out.”
It’s a matter of daring to find out. It’s a matter of stepping into the arena before you know the rules or the score. It’s setting an intention or asking a question and being deeply committed to exploring that intention or question.
Readiness isn’t about seeking answers or figuring out what’s going to happen. It’s not charting all possible paths and setbacks and detours. Of course, do your research. Whatever you are embarking upon, understand all that you can ahead of time- know how to navigate by the stars and read the wind and steer your ship- but by all means, don’t try and control the way you arrive at your destination.
If you know you have something big inside of you, being ready to let it out doesn’t mean you even have to know what it is. Being ready doesn’t mean setting conditions on it.
If you know you are meant to write a novel, don’t tell it it has to be a certain way or get certain results for you. Make time and space for it, be dedicated to it, and allow it to pour from you on it’s own time. You don’t have to know how to publish and market a book before you begin to write. Choose it, and allow the information and support to show up as you become ready.
If you know you are ready to understand how your emotions connect to your body and your energy, and how to have them all on your side, don’t panic about how it’s all going to go down. Don’t tell your body you have to look a certain way or try to control your emotions and desires. Make time and space to get to know them, have conversations with them, and if it feels aligned for you, find a guide who can help you understand what you are experiencing.
If you know you are meant to travel the world, don’t decide you have to know right now in this moment where the money is coming from or what has to be in place in your life for this to be possible. Begin researching. Ask the universe for opportunities. Learn from those who have done it before. Allow space for possibilities to land in your lap.
Are you starting to get the picture?
Readiness doesn’t mean having all your ducks in a row. Nor does it mean being unafraid or perfect in any way.
To be ready is to say, “I am here. I am raw. I don’t know what’s about to happen. And I’m willing to find out and see it through.”
Readiness by it’s very definition means not knowing. It means being prepared- both with plans and strategies, and with courage and daring to step off the path, to face the unexpected, and to stay your course even if all signs point to bailing out or quitting.
When you are ready, you know.
Being ready and choosing yourself, choosing your dreams- it’s a practice and a process that develops over time. A muscle to be stretched and strengthened.
You strengthen your readiness muscle by learning and knowing and clearing and developing a deep relationship with yourself- your whole self- all the parts of you.
Readiness is much more easily available when you have understanding and trust of your body, your energy, your emotions, and your mind. When all of these are wholly yours- not society’s, not your mother’s, not your friend’s, not social media’s- you are ready for absolutely anything and everything.
You are ready when you decide to be ready. And if you know it’s time to dive into the wholeness of who you are, to develop a relationship with your body, your energy, your emotions, your heart- to live your life from the place that makes you feel most alive- let’s have a conversation.
Look at where you are living the myth of readiness in your life.
Where are you waiting for things to line up before diving in?
Where have you been waiting or avoiding or hiding in hopes that you’ll know what’s coming before moving forward?
Where have you been shying away from your absolute brilliance and daring?
Are you ready to face it? Are you ready to step through?
You are brilliant. You are magic. And you my dear, are oh so ready.