Trust and truth – often talked about, often intellectually understood, but how often can you consistently say you trust yourself and trust in the timing of everything happening in your life? Whether you are working toward a dream, have been hit with something tough, have a million balls in the air, are frustrated that things aren’t happening soon enough, have experienced a lot of success, and / or are simply desiring to not hold on to everything so tightly- this one’s for you.
There is a fundamental step in healing, in personal growth, in shifting old habits and patterns, in reaching goals that often gets glossed over on the quest for ever more expansion, growth, and change. It’s such an essential piece of the equation that, without it, change doesn’t last, breakthroughs don’t stick, you create a lot of drama and chaos, and/ or you end up seemingly back where you started, over and over again.
Have you ever heard someone say (or said yourself), “I know exactly why I do this- I know where the pattern or emotion comes from, I understand how I get here. But I can’t seem to stop myself from doing it anyway.” Having knowledge of what triggers insecurities, where we tend to avoid things, who or what brings about intense emotions – this can be really helpful in understanding why we are the way we are, and can show us the way toward making changes, but the knowledge itself isn’t enough to step into a new way of being.
There’s no particular order for these tools, and with each one there are several different ways to use them and make them your own. There are bigger categories broken down into specific tools and practices to help you pick and choose what’s right for you.
Part 1: Create Space and Time to Integrate
Whether a change is sudden or gradual, welcomed or not, when changes happen we can need more space than usual to process and integrate what is happening or has happened. Space and time don’t have to mean full days off or blank space (though they can if that’s available and helpful for you), but having dedicated space in your schedule over a period of time to be with the changes can be really helpful.
This world we live in can feel crazy pants sometimes, and I really want to acknowledge how many of you are experiencing a LOT right now – both personally and as part of the collective culture we are in. When you are processing a lot of emotions, energy, shifts and changes, sometimes feeling “normal” can feel really tough. Sometimes you have more capacity to take care of things, and sometimes the simplest tasks can feel insurmountable. This is totally normal, and whether you are personally going through something, are feeling the precariousness of the world, and/or would simply like some reminders for deep self care, this article is for you.
I used to hide in my bedroom with a jar of peanut butter, a bag of chocolate chips, a spoon, and my computer and headphones. I would run out into the kitchen when no one was around (I had 4 roommates), grab my supplies, then run into my room and lock the door.
Once I was finally alone and “safe”, I would log in to Netflix, put my headphones in, and start watching and eating. It was my guilty pleasure time, and I was totally ashamed of it.
Even though my regular day consisted of getting up at 5am, going to the gym, working out and teaching fitness classes, then spending the afternoon building my graphic design company, then going to either my nanny or restaurant job in the evening, I didn’t want anyone to know I was laying in bed and watching tv on the rare day I had some time to spare.
Mmmm judgement. Juicy topic, no? Whether it’s judgement of yourself, judgement of others, judgement from others… oftentimes judgement is the hidden (or not so hidden) reason why things aren’t changing in your life.
I had five different calls today- three with clients, one for someone else’s group of clients, and one with a friend- and in every single call, a version of this question came up:
“How do I change something in the moment?”
Self-care is a topic I don’t think I’ll ever get tired talking about.
Taking care of ourselves is the only way we can show up fully in the world.
If you are perpetually running on empty, or even at half a tank, while you may be getting by and accomplishing quite a bit, you are nowhere near close to what you are truly capable of when you feel nourished, filled up, overflowing with energy and inspiration.
It’s an interesting paradox that many people face every day. Especially if you’ve been programmed to take care of other people before yourself, to nurture and manage the emotions and feelings of those around you, or if you are in a cycle of achieving and accomplishing and running yourself ragged to prove your worth or that you’re needed.
Let’s get real about fear. Fear has been on my mind and in my heart. All the ways in which we experience fear, are taught to deal with (or avoid) fear, false expectations around fearlessness, and so much more.
I’ve been holding hands with fear a lot lately. Sometimes it’s a firm, solid hand hold, and sometimes it feels like fear is trying to break my fingers and crush my hand.
It’s so interesting being a human. I’ve tried so many different things to get rid of fear- avoiding it, seeking it out, making choices based on it or in spite of it, saying a lot of positive affirmations, focusing on love and light, pretending it doesn’t exist- you name it, I’ve tried it.
Turns out, you can’t get rid of fear. Every single time you make a new choice, release an old habit, break an energetic pattern, decide to expand what’s possible for you- fear is going to be around.
What you can do is have a relationship with fear that *maybe* is actually beneficial for you.
Ever wish you could set down the perfectionism and striving for awhile? Maybe take off the self-judgement and questioning your worth for a bit and just… be?
I posted this on Facebook today- the journey and permission of being human. Afterward, I also wrote a promise to you, from me about how I run my business, how I show up, and why it matters <3
PERMISSION TO BE HUMAN
I am the first to admit when I don’t have the answers.
I used to always try really hard to be right and make sure people knew what I was talking about- even if I actually didn’t.
I was taught to “be an expert” and “only share my story if I had it perfected and teachable”.
If you’ve read any sort of self-help book, been in therapy or hired a coach, attended any sort of new age or self-development workshop, googled how to be happy, etc. etc… you’ve probably seen this idea come up over and over again:
Our thoughts shape our reality.
Yes? You with me?
I’ll be the first to say I wholeheartedly agree with this statement, AND.
Thoughts, emotions, judgements, stories, and especially the energy behind all of these things is what shapes and creates the reality you are currently existing in.