What Real Self-Care Looks Like

Let’s talk about self-care. Like, for realsies self-care.

What does it mean to have a practice of self-care and to be of service to your body, your soul, your energy, all of you?

I’m not talking green juice and yoga. Nor am I talking a checklist of things you have to accomplish in order to be ‘taking care of yourself’. I’m not talking about pushing aside anger or sadness or fear with positive affirmations either.

When I say self-care, I mean the practice of pausing, grounding, breathing, and being aware of the present moment you are in. I mean learning to tune in to your body and to your heart and asking, “what is it I really need right now to feel full?”

Self care is a practice in fullness and in nourishment for your mind, body, and soul. It’s a practice of tending your inner fire so that it never burns out or gets too low. It’s a practice in cultivating your energy and regularly charging your batteries with what you really need.

Sure, sometimes that’s yoga and a green juice.
And sometimes it’s not getting out of your pajamas all day, binge-watching Netflix and eating gelato for breakfast (and lunch).
Sometimes it’s waking up early to do yoga and have a green juice and then changing back into your pajamas and eating gelato and binge-watching Netflix.

Sometimes what we most need to feel fulfilled is fun. Sometimes it’s deep inquiry.

Sometimes it’s working on something through to completion- and sometimes it’s taking the night off and giving yourself a break for lightness.

Sometimes what we most need to re-energize is movement. Sometimes it’s stillness.

There is no “right” answer that is going to stay the same day in and day out.

Because we are different day in and day out.

What I need today in this moment might change by tomorrow or this afternoon. What’s going to nourish me is not always the same.

Sometimes the best thing we can do to care for ourselves is say “eff it” and go out and have a few drinks.

And sometimes the best thing we can do is say “eff it” and stay home and turn off our phones.

Self-care is a practice in getting to know yourself.

It’s a practice in learning your energetic makeup and knowing when to move and act and when to pause and restore.

It’s a practice in learning to tune in to your body and asking her what she needs in order to support you.

It’s the most important practice there is.

Sometimes it’s not pretty. Sometimes taking care of yourself means getting a little ugly (and by ugly I mean uncomfortable). Feeling your feelings and not trying to apologize, explain, or make them go away. Canceling plans with someone you love because you are running on empty. Standing up for your boundaries even if you want to throw up.

Self-care is not passive.

Choosing to embark on knowing yourself and caring for yourself first is fierce.

It’s a strong, rooted stand that you take and commit to every day.

It’s often an unlearning of so many habits and patterns- around food, our bodies, relationships, responsibilities, mindset, and more- and that requires change, willingness, and dedication.

You 100% have it in you.

What would be possible if you didn’t have to ‘get it right’ anymore?

What resources, energy, inspiration, and space would become available to you if you were consistently filled up, nourished, and at peace from the inside out? 

And, ask yourself- “What one thing can I do today that will be nourishing for my body and/or my soul?”

Do that.
It’s enough.